Wellness + Wisdom Episode 392
Counter-terrorism professional turned career coach, host of the You Turn Podcast, and author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, Ashley Stahl, unpacks how to tell if you are your own kidnapper, how to switch the script on your beliefs about money, and how to access the real power of your intuition and get into your zone of genius.
Learn how to get unstuck and discover a career path that aligns with who you are at your core.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘You really are a decision away from a completely different reality. It doesn't have to be so dramatic or big to make a decision.' – @AshleyStahl ” quote=”‘You really are a decision away from a completely different reality. It doesn't have to be so dramatic or big to make a decision.' – @AshleyStahl “]
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Listen To Episode 392 As Ashley Stahl Uncovers:
[1:30] Transformation 101: Who Are You Really?
- Ashley Stahl
- You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career
- How to figure out what you really want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity
- You Turn Podcast
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Ashley's own shift in careers from working in national security to becoming a career coach.
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How she helps people really figure out who they are and bring that into their career path.
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The day a phone call impacted Ashley, her family, and how she now sees the world.
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How fear and limitation can “kidnap” people from having a life that they really want.
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Exploring the question, “What do you know that you wish you didn't know?”
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Why it's so important to ask yourself, “What am I hiding from myself?” in order to help you change.
[14:30] Are You Your Own Kidnapper?
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Unpacking how we can be our own kidnappers.
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The list she made of how she has been her own kidnapper throughout her life like staying in a job for too long.
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Why living in itself is such an achievement.
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How you can hold compassion for yourself and others if you are holding yourself hostage.
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Why making changes in your life doesn't have to be so big or dramatic to live a different reality.
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What holds people back the most from the freedom they desire.
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How to get on the path of clarity though engagement rather than thought.
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Exploring the dynamic between the fear of the unknown and misery in a current situation.
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Negative beliefs that are passed on from one generation to the next and how she addresses this in her work.
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Why your career is actually about healing, confidence, and your mindset.
[20:30] Switching The Script On Money, Success & Career
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The experiences she and her family have had with career, money, and the thoughts around those topics.
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Unpacking the question, “What are you believing about your career right now that's keeping you stuck?”
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Why limiting beliefs are what hold people back from career change rather than an actual issue at hand.
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How she guides people to use journaling and free-form writing to work through negative voices and feedback loops.
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What steps she goes through with clients to teach them how to forgive themselves for their negative and limiting beliefs.
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The fact that we are making up everything we think so we might as well make ourselves win in the thoughts we make.
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How people become addicted to stress of being in constant fight or flight.
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Why some stress can actually help us activate and be productive but there is a limit.
- How the Coronavirus Outbreak Has – and Hasn’t – Changed the Way Americans Work
- In a New Study, 90 Percent of Employees Admit to Feeling Burned Out. Here Are 3 Ways to Successfully Manage It
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How people have become more introverted or extroverted during COVID-19 lockdowns.
[26:00] You Are Worthy Of Greater Wellness
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The question to ask yourself if you are feeling burnt out from work, “Why don't I feel worthy of wellness?”
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Why it's so important to open up a dialogue with your boss or manager about your stress, wellness, and setting healthy work boundaries.
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Her own fear of canceling things no matter how sick she felt or how much someone else such as a parent needed her that day.
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The power of giving yourself permission to be worthy of spaciousness when your body and soul.
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Why she sees being burnt out as a worthiness issue that we all can work on to help ourselves heal.
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The biggest beliefs she had going on in her mind when she explored how she has been her own kidnapper.
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Unpacking her core belief, “Life is rigged in your favor and as long you're living like it's not, it's not going to work with you.”
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How to build and grow your wellness tribe in favor of the direction you want your life to go in.
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What steps to take to help you succeed at networking and making strong connections.
[31:30] The Power Of Your Intuition
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The different mindsets that Millennials have compared to other generations such as Gen X due to the amount of technology they use.
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Why she knew lockdown was bound to happen the moment COVID-19 began spreading back in February 2020 because of her intuition and past work experience.
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Unpacking the intuition that we all have and how paying attention to body signals can be so powerful for decision making.
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How intuition works and why it's absolute, not emotional.
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Her take on instinct compared to intuition.
- Elizabeth Gilbert | Your Elusive Creative Genius | Ted Talk
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What steps you can take to make a ‘You Turn' and come back home to yourself.
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Why people can play such an important role in helping us feel like ourselves again.
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How we get more clarity the more we engage in an environment that helps us thrive.
[40:30] Finding Your Zone Of Genius
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What happens when you hold on too tightly to a vision and then it's not what you expected in the end.
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Toxic work experiences she had working in national security at the Pentagon and the moment she hit rock bottom.
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The two things in all of our careers that we have to be mindful of: 1) Your responsibilities and 2) Your core values.
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How to find out your “zone of genius” or core skill set and how to apply it to your career choices.
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The gift that she has with writing speeches and why words are like medicine for her.
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The 11 step road map she will take you through in ‘You Turn' to help you gain clarity of what career is right for you.
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Exploring the beauty in self-love and being kind to your inner child plus why the process takes time.
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How her bad experience working in national security was a blessing because it led her on a journey of self-discovery and taught her a lot about the workforce.
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Why you should never force your career as it's exhausting and not aligned with who you truly are anyway.
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How her training in self awareness and development has also helped her friendships and personal relationships.
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Generational patterns in her family with resentment and losing money.
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The massive abuse of spiritual bypassing and red flags that she looks for in other people.
Power Quotes From The Show
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘Clarity comes from engagement; it's never just going to come from thought. That's like sitting in a rocking chair and hoping you're somewhere else by the end an hour later.' – @AshleyStahl ” quote=”‘Clarity comes from engagement; it's never just going to come from thought. That's like sitting in a rocking chair and hoping you're somewhere else by the end an hour later.' – @AshleyStahl “]
Are You Holding Yourself Hostage?
“I can't tell you how many people have told me, ‘I need to stay in this job so I have another year on my LinkedIn profile.' When we do something like this, we're holding ourselves hostage in versions of our life that don't work for us so that we can look like we are surviving and getting by. I get why people do that and sometimes we forget that living in and of itself is an achievement. You have to get out of bed, go to school, sometimes we don't feel well, you have to make money and put food on you table. It's an achievement just to exist; it requires a lot from us.” – Ashley Stahl
Fear Of The Unknown & Misery
“This dynamics between fear of the unknown and our misery in our current situation are always at play in our lives, our career, and our decisions. The fear of the unknown will usually paralyze somebody but they won't launch in and override it until their misery in their current state is so much that they no longer care about the unknown because they're too miserable. So I help people figure out what they can do to lower that threshold so that they don't have to get to misery; they can start asking questions when they're lukewarm too many days in a row.” – Ashley Stahl
Clarity Comes From Engagement
Links From Today's Show
- You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career
- How to figure out what you really want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity
- You Turn Podcast
- How the Coronavirus Outbreak Has – and Hasn’t – Changed the Way Americans Work
- In a New Study, 90 Percent of Employees Admit to Feeling Burned Out. Here Are 3 Ways to Successfully Manage It
- Elizabeth Gilbert | Your Elusive Creative Genius | Ted Talk
- Leave Wellness Force a review on iTunes
- breathwork.io
- M21 Wellness Guide
- Ashley Stahl
About Ashley Stahl

Three Questions to unlock your authentic career: Ashley Stahl at TEDxBerkeley