“Who you are always wins. Face who you are now because the pain of not doing that is what causes so much anxiety later on. The sooner you face the truth, which can be sad and inconvenient at times, the less anxious you will feel.” – Ashley Stahl

Wellness Force Radio Episode 392

Counter-terrorism professional turned career coach, host of the You Turn Podcast, and author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, Ashley Stahl, unpacks how to tell if you are your own kidnapper, how to switch the script on your beliefs about money, and how to access the real power of your intuition and get into your zone of genius.

Are you at a crossroads in your life? Do you feel stuck in your job? 

Learn how to get unstuck and discover a career path that aligns with who you are at your core. 

'You really are a decision away from a completely different reality. It doesn't have to be so dramatic or big to make a decision.' - @AshleyStahl Click To Tweet


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Listen To Episode 392 As Ashley Stahl Uncovers:

 

[1:30] Transformation 101: Who Are You Really?

[14:30] Are You Your Own Kidnapper?

  • Unpacking how we can be our own kidnappers.
  • The list she made of how she has been her own kidnapper throughout her life like staying in a job for too long.
  • Why living in itself is such an achievement.
  • How you can hold compassion for yourself and others if you are holding yourself hostage.
  • Why making changes in your life doesn't have to be so big or dramatic to live a different reality.
  • What holds people back the most from the freedom they desire.
  • How to get on the path of clarity though engagement rather than thought.
  • Exploring the dynamic between the fear of the unknown and misery in a current situation.
  • Negative beliefs that are passed on from one generation to the next and how she addresses this in her work.
  • Why your career is actually about healing, confidence, and your mindset.

[20:30] Switching The Script On Money, Success & Career

[26:00] You Are Worthy Of Greater Wellness

  • The question to ask yourself if you are feeling burnt out from work, “Why don't I feel worthy of wellness?”
  • Why it's so important to open up a dialogue with your boss or manager about your stress, wellness, and setting healthy work boundaries.
  • Her own fear of canceling things no matter how sick she felt or how much someone else such as a parent needed her that day.
  • The power of giving yourself permission to be worthy of spaciousness when your body and soul.
  • Why she sees being burnt out as a worthiness issue that we all can work on to help ourselves heal.
  • The biggest beliefs she had going on in her mind when she explored how she has been her own kidnapper.
  • Unpacking her core belief, “Life is rigged in your favor and as long you're living like it's not, it's not going to work with you.”
  • How to build and grow your wellness tribe in favor of the direction you want your life to go in.
  • What steps to take to help you succeed at networking and making strong connections.
  • How she deals well with rejection by seeing it as something necessary piece on the road towards success.

[31:30] The Power Of Your Intuition

  • The different mindsets that Millennials have compared to other generations such as Gen X due to the amount of technology they use.
  • Why she knew lockdown was bound to happen the moment COVID-19 began spreading back in February 2020 because of her intuition and past work experience.
  • Unpacking the intuition that we all have and how paying attention to body signals can be so powerful for decision making.
  • How intuition works and why it's absolute, not emotional.
  • Her take on instinct compared to intuition.
  • Elizabeth Gilbert | Your Elusive Creative Genius | Ted Talk
  • What steps you can take to make a ‘You Turn' and come back home to yourself.
  • Why people can play such an important role in helping us feel like ourselves again.
  • How we get more clarity the more we engage in an environment that helps us thrive.

[40:30] Finding Your Zone Of Genius

  • What happens when you hold on too tightly to a vision and then it's not what you expected in the end.
  • Toxic work experiences she had working in national security at the Pentagon and the moment she hit rock bottom.
  • The two things in all of our careers that we have to be mindful of: 1) Your responsibilities and 2) Your core values.
  • How to find out your “zone of genius” or core skill set and how to apply it to your career choices.
  • The gift that she has with writing speeches and why words are like medicine for her.
  • The 11 step road map she will take you through in ‘You Turn' to help you gain clarity of what career is right for you.
  • Exploring the beauty in self-love and being kind to your inner child plus why the process takes time.
  • How her bad experience working in national security was a blessing because it led her on a journey of self-discovery and taught her a lot about the workforce.
  • Why you should never force your career as it's exhausting and not aligned with who you truly are anyway.
  • How her training in self awareness and development has also helped her friendships and personal relationships.
  • Generational patterns in her family with resentment and losing money.
  • The massive abuse of spiritual bypassing and red flags that she looks for in other people.

Power Quotes From The Show

'Clarity comes from engagement; it's never just going to come from thought. That's like sitting in a rocking chair and hoping you're somewhere else by the end an hour later.' - @AshleyStahl Click To Tweet

Are You Holding Yourself Hostage?

“I can't tell you how many people have told me, ‘I need to stay in this job so I have another year on my LinkedIn profile.' When we do something like this, we're holding ourselves hostage in versions of our life that don't work for us so that we can look like we are surviving and getting by. I get why people do that and sometimes we forget that living in and of itself is an achievement. You have to get out of bed, go to school, sometimes we don't feel well, you have to make money and put food on you table. It's an achievement just to exist; it requires a lot from us.” – Ashley Stahl

Fear Of The Unknown & Misery

“This dynamics between fear of the unknown and our misery in our current situation are always at play in our lives, our career, and our decisions. The fear of the unknown will usually paralyze somebody but they won't launch in and override it until their misery in their current state is so much that they no longer care about the unknown because they're too miserable. So I help people figure out what they can do to lower that threshold so that they don't have to get to misery; they can start asking questions when they're lukewarm too many days in a row.” – Ashley Stahl

Clarity Comes From Engagement

“If you don't really know yourself, you're just going to turn your career and life into this graveyard of trial and error. Sometimes there's some great things about that but I think the world makes way for people who do have clarity. It's not to say that we're always going to have clarity; we're always constantly in transition. That's who we are; we are transitioning. So, my biggest thing for anyone who really wants something, is for them to make the decision to go on the path and get that clarity because in order to get somewhere new, you need to do something new. Clarity comes from engagement; it's never just going to come from thought. That's like sitting in a rocking chair and hoping you're somewhere else by the end an hour later.” – Ashley Stahl

Links From Today's Show 

About Ashley Stahl

Ashley Stahl | You Turn: How To Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction & Design Your Dream CareerAshley Stahl is counter-terrorism professional turned career coach and author of the book You Turn: Get Unstuck, Discover Your Direction, Design Your Dream Career, and she's on a mission to help you step into a career you’re excited about and aligned with. Through her two viral TEDx speeches, her online courses, her email list of 500,000 and her show, You Turn Podcast, she's been able to support clients in 31 countries in discovering their best career path, upgrading their confidence and landing more job offers. She maintains a monthly career column in Forbes, and her work has been also featured in outlets such as the Wall Street Journal, CBS, SELF, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune and more. For her FREE quiz to get clarity on your best career path options, visit AshleyStahl.com.

Three Questions to unlock your authentic career: Ashley Stahl at TEDxBerkeley


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