Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)

Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 610

How can you and your partner become a team and make your differences complement each other?

Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)Adam Lane Smith, Attachment Specialist, joins Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 610, to share how attachment styles are formed in your early childhood, why men and women are designed to work as a team, and how love transforms your life.

“Male and female brains are designed to work together as a system. They must or everything falls apart. They're not meant to work individually. Men go forward and build and expand. Women follow afterward and they fill the space that men have built. They're the ones that make the structures that men create so much richer and better, but they rely upon men to build those structures in the first place to build safety and prioritize that as men push outward.”Adam Lane Smith

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Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)

This course will show you how to:

• Address attachment issues at their core
• Overcome your fears of rejection, abandonment, and vulnerability
• Learn to respect yourself
• Repel toxic people
• Attract loving friends and partners
• Create trusting bonds with your loved ones
• Build relationships based on mutual fulfillment
• Stop worrying about what others think of you

This is your chance to build trust in yourself, overcome loneliness, bond with others, improve your dating game, find peace in marriage, and build a lasting love. If you want to end your fear cycles and take control of your relationships with simple steps, this course will teach you how.

In This Episode, Adam Lane Smith Uncovers:

[01:30] Men Are Problem Solvers

[07:05] Men VS Women

[11:10] Attachment Theory

  • How Adam teaches his clients about the attachment theory.
  • People judge based on their own fears.
  • Why men seek sex to get approval.
  • 50% of American adults have an attachment issue.
  • Why we need to make our children feel loved and seen.
  • How parents' behavior towards their children makes the children create transactional relationships with others.

[19:20] Love Transforms Your Life

  • If you've never felt love, your life will be more fearful than it should be.
  • How romantic relationships change your life.
  • The absence of love makes it harder for people to believe in God.
  • How Adam helps people find out what's missing in their lives.
  • The importance of having models to see what is possible and how to achieve it.
  • Finding experiences that will prove your childhood beliefs are not true.

[25:30] Feelings Are Information

  • Stopping one behavior doesn't create a transformation unless you replace it with a new behavior.
  • B. F. Skinner
  • Pain is only information.
  • How you can use your feelings as data for healing.
  • Feelings are not always right.

[32:00] Women + Relationships

  • How feelings guide women.
  • Why we need to remember that we are a team as a man and woman.
  • How men shut off the value women bring to the relationship.
  • Why relationships and resources define female status.
  • Healthy women form family structures that create intimacy.

[37:35] The Truth About Venting

[45:30] The Roots of Racism + Men's Search for Affection

  • Racism is learned in early childhood.
  • How emotional reactions are perceived by children.
  • Why some people get angry at Adam's social media posts.
  • How some men think Adam is not the right man who can provide relationship advice based on his appearance.
  • Why many men are searching for affection but don't know how to get it.

[52:35] The Dysfunction of The Tough Guy

  • Andrew Tate
  • David Goggins
  • Why warrior cultures have an avoidant attachment style.
  • A study proved that oxytocin increases a father's affection towards his children.
  • How low oxytocin makes men more tough and less affectionate.
  • Why anger is more powerful than despair.

[55:45] The Warrior Gene + Rebirth of Masculinity

[01:04:55] Porn Addiction

  • Josh's journey of porn addiction.
  • Your Brain on Porn by Gary Wilson
  • Porn addiction is only a symptom.
  • The role of hormones in attachment.
  • Why hormones are not released properly if you have an attachment issue.
  • How porn replaces dopamine that you should get from human interaction.

[01:11:30] Attachment Styles

  • How Josh's children and partner are teaching him what love is.
  • People who have anxious attachment were withdrawn love and believe something is wrong with them.
  • Why avoidant attachment didn't receive enough love and often try to manipulate people into loving them.
  • How can one person switch between anxious and avoidant attachment.

[01:17:40] Secure Attachment in Relationships

  • Attachment style is not a sentence, it can be changed.
  • Only 35% of people have a secure attachment style.
  • Why Adam chooses to talk with his children instead of yelling and controlling them.
  • What secure attachment looks like in relationships.

[01:20:30] Healing Attachment During Conflict

  • How to know if a person is right for us.
  • Learning to navigate conflict in order to heal your attachment together with your partner.
  • The importance of collaboration during conflict.
  • No case is hopeless if you are willing to do the work.
  • Why humans need to collectively solve problems.

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Power Quotes From The Show

Vasopressin Hormone

“One of the biggest indicators of a long-term, healthy, stable marriage is vasopressin. Vasopressin is a hormone released when we solve and overcome problems together and work as a team. Women detect that through feelings. They intuitively safeguard their relationships. That is why wives crave to be listened to, trusted, and have their feelings mean something to their husband.”Adam Lane Smith

Men's Brain Works Differently Than Women's Brain

“When a man is in a conversation with a woman and she's sharing her feelings, he's observing and then he jumps to a solution to fix her problems. He's shutting her up. The message she's getting is: I don't care. I don't want to listen.”Adam Lane Smith

Love Is Everything

“Love is everything. When you discover what real love is and you experience it with one human being, whether that's a friend or a partner, it changes everything because the world has 10 new colors in it, 10 new smells, 10 new realities. Everything opens up in a way that never existed before and suddenly things start to make sense and there is suddenly joy and hope.”Adam Lane Smith

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About Adam Lane Smith

Adam Lane Smith | Relationships Are Teamwork: How Men + Women Make Relationships Work (Heal Your Attachment Style)Adam Lane Smith is a transformative force in the field of personal development and relationships. Leveraging years of professional experience as a licensed psychotherapist into a highly sought-after Attachment Specialist and personal coach.

From regular families hoping to mend marital troubles. to high-power executives striving for harmony in parenting, to millionaire CEOs navigating the intricate world of dating, Adam’s profound insight and advice have proven invaluable time and again.

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About Josh Trent

Josh Trent lives in Austin, Texas with his love Carrie Michelle, son Novah, daughter Nayah + a cat named Cleo. He is the host of the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast and the creator of the BREATHE: Breath + Wellness Program. Josh has spent the past 20+ years as a trainer, researcher + facilitator discovering the physical and emotional intelligence for humans to thrive in our modern world. Helping humans LIBERATE their mental, emotional, physical, spiritual + financial self through podcasts, programs + global community that believe in optimizing our potential to live life well.

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