“A porn addict is looking for warmth, comfort, and connection but they're scared of being vulnerable and rejected by someone in real life. So, the brain has found a synthetic version of the connection they're craving. There's nothing wrong with wanting to feel intimacy but they have been conditioned to be less relational as far as eye-to-eye, person-to-person contact.” – Greg Woodhill
What exactly are the detrimental effects of porn and sex addiction to both the brain and heart?
Wellness + Wisdom Episode 288
Licensed psychotherapist in the fields of family and marriage as well as sex and porn addiction plus the host of the A Brave New Man Podcast, Greg Woodhill, LMFT, CSAT, shares why inner conflict is driving our addictions, why all porn addicts really just want connection, and how porn trains the mind to be less understanding and passionate compared to what we can learn from a real-life relationship.
Listen and find out why people often gravitate towards porn when they're trying to work through unresolved issues from the past.
A Brave New Man Podcast
Click here to listen to A Brave New Man Podcast
Do you want to be a better man or have a better relationship with your man?
Then follow along with Greg Woodhill as he interviews experts and non-experts on masculinity, love and connection. Topics range from cheating & infidelity, to the Me Too movement, porn addiction and happy relationships.
Porn Addiction: Internet, the Great Accelerator
[click_to_tweet tweet=”“People gravitate to porn when they’re trying to work through unemotional material from the past.” – @gregwoodhill ” quote=”“People gravitate to porn when they’re trying to work through unemotional material from the past.” – @gregwoodhill “]
Listen To Episode 288 As Greg Woodhill Uncovers:
- The honor he feels when he is the first person people go to for help with their sex addiction.
- Various categories of sex addiction and why addiction isn't always intercourse for some people but porn instead.
- Signs to be aware of that an unwanted behavior is actually an addiction.
- The fact that in 2017, 46% of 11-13-year-olds had already seen porn.
- Easy access that people have to porn through the internet compared to decades ago when this online world didn't exist.
- Why it's so difficult to regulate the amount of porn that is available to us especially online.
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Why so many people are attached to porn because it's an inanimate object that won't judge them like an actual person in real life.
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Facts that the vast amount of pornography is made, produced or created by men for men while the women are experts at selling it by allowing themselves to be humiliated, dominated, and hurt.
What Porn Addicts Are Actually Craving
- how porn can build up a person's shame, negative thoughts, and eroticized rage.
- The term, ‘pornosexual,' for those who prefer to be with pornography than be with another person.
- Our natural desire and need to procreate and how porn takes that natural drive and funnels it to a place that's solo, secretive, and far less scary than being rejected by another person.
- How smartphones have increased the impact on our lethargy, anxiety, sleep, focus, and our need for distraction.
- What porn addicts are actually craving for including warmth, connection, and acceptance
- The synthetic condition of porn and how it mirrors want addicts desire the most.
- You don't need permission to open up to share your thoughts and emotions with other people.
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How he helps men understand and realize that it's okay to let someone know when they've hurt your feelings or what emotions you're experiencing.
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Chaos vs. Order – Why the chaos of addiction can actually be a means for showing us order and love for those who are ready to get real with their emotions.
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Diagnostic criteria for porn addiction to help you discover whether are living with it or not.
Power Quotes From The Show
[click_to_tweet tweet=”‘If we don’t know where it’s hurting on the inside, how do we get love to the places that hurt? Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt.' – @gregwoodhill ” quote=”‘If we don’t know where it’s hurting on the inside, how do we get love to the places that hurt? Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt.' – @gregwoodhill “]
Fear Of Rejection And Judgement
What Is A ‘Pornosexual'?
“A pornosexual is not a sexual orientation but someone who would rather be with pornography than a man, woman, both, or neither. Pornography has become their first choice because that is what they're attracted to. It doesn't mean that all of a sudden they're not attracted to real people but it means that when someone sees a person they're attracted to, they have the need to go watch porn.” – Greg Woodhill
Porn's Affect On The Brain
“When someone becomes so consumed by pornography that it takes their natural drive and funnels it into a place that is solo, secretive, and far less dangerous and scary than walking up to a person and saying, “Hello,” so that they can reject you while porn can't, it takes the brain to a level of hyper-stimulation because the amount of dopamine that is created in their brain is far greater than what a real-life encounter can create. I'm not saying porn is better or more exciting, any in-person physicality or romance is far better in every way but as far as dopamine, porn creates a craving so intense that it's all people want instead of trying to finding a way to enrich their life with a real person because they're afraid of rejection.” – Greg Woodhill
Our Essence Of Love
“We are all born with the essence of love. That's it, that's who we are. You don't need to learn to love or love yourself, you need to allow the love that you were born with and remove the obstacles that are in front of it. One of the biggest obstacles to feeling peace, love, joy, connection, and intimacy with other people, for a lot of people, especially young men, is the fact that porn is their lifeline.” – Greg Woodhill
Porn Addiction: Dopamine & Attachment
Links From Today's Show
- Organifi
- Porn Addiction Stats – Pornography Addiction Statistics,
Percentages, Numbers, & Info - These 16 U.S. States Passed Resolutions Recognizing Porn As A Public Health Issue
- 046 Dr. John Gray
- 208 Maddy Moon
- David Deida
- “Pornography Addiction” in 2017
- Pornography Addiction Leads To Same Brain Activity As Alcoholism Or Drug Abuse, Study Shows
- The great porn experiment | Gary Wilson | TEDxGlasgow
- 012 Dan Pardi
- 048 Nir Eyal
- Sex Expert Webinar Series: Porn Addiction, Toxic Masculinity, and Anger
- Charles Duhigg
- Sex Therapy Lecture Series: Greg Woodhill – Porn Addiction: Kryptonite to Intimacy
- Greg Woodhill: Root Causes Of Porn Addiction And Healing With Real Intimacy
- Sex and Relationship Healing
- A Brave New Man Podcast with Greg Woodhill
About Greg Woodhill
Greg Woodhill, LMFT, CSAT is a licensed psychotherapist who has spent thousands of hours directly helping sex and porn addicts recover from their addictions. He strongly believes that true psychological and emotional growth can only occur in a safe environment, which he provides for his clients through long-term therapeutic work.
He holds a Master’s Degree from the University of Santa Monica, where he developed his personal therapeutic style of empathic listening, exploring early childhood trauma, and encouraging personal responsibility. He is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and spent 5 years working at the Center For Healthy Sex in Los Angeles under the mentorship of Alexandra Katehakis.
He is passionate about the topic of addiction in all shapes and sizes, and he loves working with addicts to help them recover their passion and strength so that they can create true intimacy in their lives.
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