Wellness + Wisdom | Episode 630
How can you heal codependency and create liberated love?
Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Josh Trent on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast, episode 630, to explore where the root of codependency comes from, how you can create a liberated relationship with your partner, and why it's important to learn to be okay on your own before you get into a relationship.
“Until we make the pattern and the unconscious way of being in relating conscious, we'll seek to get the things we never got from our mother. Till we do that, we seek it in our partner when we're really seeking it in ourselves.” – Mark Groves
In This Episode, Mark Groves + Kylie McBeath Uncover:
[01:30] Liberated Love: Healing Your Mother Wound
- Mark Groves
- Kylie McBeath
- Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath
- 302 Mark Groves: Create The Love
- 386 Mark Groves | Create More Love: How To Deal w/ Breakups, Boundaries, & Beyond
- What role the nervous system plays in codependency.
- 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born
- Why we need to heal the mother wound.
- The importance of being regulated and coping with our emotions.
- Consciously choosing to change the patterns we learned in our family.
- Why we end up in dysfunctional relationships over and over again.
[10:55] Sacred Marriage
- What the purpose of marriage used to be in the past.
- Why Mark ended his first engagement when he was 27.
- Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz
- Why marriage wasn't always about love as it is now.
- The process of bringing sacredness to our relationships.
- How committing to the fierce truth will change a relationship.
[16:25] Getting Right with Reality
- Why we need to focus on prioritizing ourselves.
- How to get right with reality.
- The body lets us know when something is off.
- What changed when Kylie and Mark got back together after breaking up.
- There's nothing broken, there's something to be healed.
[23:25] Devotion to Truth
- Liberation is the ultimate devotion to truth.
- What it means to be coherent.
- Understanding what is true in our body and our being.
- Why we need a lot of self-trust to honor our decisions.
- How we choose other things and people over ourselves.
[30:10] The Power of Being Present
- How we become reductionists in relationships and spirituality.
- Why many of us are looking for a quick fix.
- How we bypass the present moment by being on our phones.
- What to do to reverse codependency.
- Why hitting rock bottom can actually help us.
- We're not using enough of the gifts we naturally have as humans.
[38:10] Relationship 1.0
- We internally know when we shouldn't trust someone.
- Why Kylie didn't trust herself and the world when she was younger.
- Needing a man to feel safe was her old survival pattern.
- Why she needed to break the intergenerational cycles before having a child.
- Women need to tap into their anger.
[45:40] Birth Has Become a Commodity
- 628 Eric Clopper | The Truth About Circumcision: Ending Male Genital Mutilation + Reclaiming Fetal Innocence
- The pressure and challenges Mark has come across after becoming a father.
- How birth is commoditized and women are disempowered during birth.
- Why we need to live what we preach because our children will perceive the truth.
- If we can't share your voice, we're not liberated.
- Healing our lineage together with our partner is a gift.
[55:10] Can You Be Okay on Your Own?
- The importance of creating a conscious container for ourselves.
- Women put a lot of energy into searching for a partner.
- Letting go of the need to be in a union.
- Not focusing on finding a relationship can show us where we're not free yet.
[01:00:55] Move Away from What Keeps You Stuck
- How the environment we're in feeds the patterns we're stuck in.
- Humility provides ground for growth and openness.
- How we can move towards something that is a ‘yes' for us.
[01:06:50] How to Regulate Your Nervous System
- There has not been a template for a woman to navigate changes.
- Challenging the norms makes us the black sheep.
- Language becomes a gateway to the nervous system when we are regulated.
- We need the nervous capacity in order to create a change.
- Wait But Why
- Being single is an opportunity to create transformation.
- How cold plunging helps us create more space between our reaction and our conscious choice.
[01:13:10] Liberate Yourself from Codependency
- The opposite of codependency is authentic co-creation.
- Codependency is directly tied to our nervous system.
- How we learn to shut parts of ourselves down over time.
- What our fear around relationships truly tells us.
- The importance of bringing our truth to our partner.
[01:20:10] Choose Yourself
- The lessons Mark learned along his journey.
- It's okay to leave relationships where we don't feel fully chosen and choose ourselves.
- The brain and the heart work together.
- Why we get easily thrown out of balance by fear.
[01:28:40] Spread The Wings
- The meaning behind the bird on the book cover.
- We need to know from ourselves that we are safe.
- Wellness is honoring life and nourishing the body.
- What Is Wellness? The Truth Will Set You Free | @WellnessAndWisdom
- To be well is to be aligned and expressed.
- 595 Relationship Death + Rebirth: How to Let Love Lead Again + Let Go of The Anxious-Avoidant Dance (Margo Running + Carrie Michelle)
Leave Wellness + Wisdom a Review on Apple Podcasts
Power Quotes From The Show
Codependency: Outsourcing Safety
“We source safety outside of ourselves from someone or something at the expense of our wholeness, our sense of self, and our core needs. We're playing out our survival strategies in self-protection mode, doing what we learned how to do in order to survive our earlier family system dynamics, and we're just repeating that in our adult dynamics now.” – Kylie McBeath
Coming to Truth
“There is no coming to change without coming to truth. You can't change if you don't acknowledge your circumstances and your way of being because you can't change something you don't accept as true.” – Mark Groves
Liberation Through Limitation
“The majority of us don't know what it feels like to be in our center, don't know what it feels like to have inner authority, don't know what it feels like to be really solid in our foundation. Liberation through limitation allows us to see the blind spots; where we're still trying to source validation, where we're still trying to source security or safety from someone at the expense of our wholeness.” – Kylie McBeath
Links From Today's Show
- Mark Groves
- Kylie McBeath
- Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath
- 302 Mark Groves: Create The Love
- 386 Mark Groves | Create More Love: How To Deal w/ Breakups, Boundaries, & Beyond
- 366 Mark Wolynn | How To Heal Generational Trauma: The Thoughts, Feelings, Patterns & Behaviors Formed Before You Were Ever Born
- Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz
- 628 Eric Clopper | The Truth About Circumcision: Ending Male Genital Mutilation + Reclaiming Fetal Innocence
- Wait But Why
- What Is Wellness? The Truth Will Set You Free | @WellnessAndWisdom
- 595 Relationship Death + Rebirth: How to Let Love Lead Again + Let Go of The Anxious-Avoidant Dance (Margo Running + Carrie Michelle)
Josh's Trusted Products | Up To 40% Off
Biohacking
- BREATHE – 33% off with the code “PODCAST33”
- FertilityWize Test by Clockwize – Save 10% with code “JOSH10”
- SaunaSpace – 10% off with discount code “JOSH10”
- PLUNGE – $150 off with discount code “WELLNESSFORCE”
- SiPhox – 10% off with code “JOSH”
- BON CHARGE – 15% off with discount code “JOSH15”
- Defender Shield – 10% off with discount code “TRENT10”
- Neuvana – 15% off with the code “WELLNESSFORCE”
Nutrition + Gut Health
- SEED Synbiotic – 25% off with the discount code “25JOSHTRENT”
- EONS Mushroom Coffee – 20% off with the discount code “JOSH20”
- Tiny Health – $20 off with discount code “JOSH20”
- Zbiotics | Breakdown Alcohol Byproduct – 10% off with discount code “JOSH10”
- Paleovalley – 15% off with the link only
- Intelligence of Nature – 15% off with the code ‘JOSH15′
- EQUIP Foods – 15% off with the code JOSH15
- DRY FARM WINES – Get an extra bottle of Pure Natural Wine with your order for just 1¢
- Just Thrive – 20% off with the code “JOSH”
Supplements
- Organifi – 20% off with discount code ‘WELLNESSFORCE'
- Drink Update – Save 25% with discount code “JOSH25”
- Adapt Naturals – 15% off with discount code “WELLNESSFORCE”
- MitoZen – 10% off with the code “WELLNESS FORCE”
- Activation Products – 20% off with the code “WELLNESSFORCE”
- BiOptimizers – 10% off with discount code “JOSH10”
- Lightbody Total Eye Health – 20% off with discount code “JOSH20”
Fitness + Physical Health
- Detox Dudes Online Courses – Up to $500 off with discount code “JOSH”
- SimplyO3 – 10% off with discount code “JOSH10”
- SinuSonic – 15% off with “JOSH15”
- Kineon – 10% off with discount code “JOSH10”
- Earth Runners Shoes – 10% off with the code “JOSH”
- Drink LMNT – Zero Sugar Hydration: Get your free LMNT Sample Pack, with any purchase
- Haven Athletic Gym Backpacks – $40 off with the code “JOSH10”
- Myoxcience – 20% off with the code “JOSH20”
- Create Wellness Creatine Gummies – 20% off with discount code “JOSH20”
Healthy Home
- QI-Shield EMF Device – 20% off with discount code “JOSH”
- Zyppah Complete Sleep Kit – 20% off with the code “JOSH”
- ALIVE WATERS – 33% off your first order with the code “JOSH33”
- Holy Hydrogen – $100 off with discount code “JOSH”
- Essential Oil Wizardry – 10% off with the code “WELLNESSFORCE”
Mental Health + Stress Release
- LiftMode – 10% off with the discount code “JOSH10”
- NOOTOPIA – 10% off with the discount code “JOSH10”
- CalmiGo – $30 off the device with discount code “JOSH30”
Personal Care
About Mark Groves
Mark Groves is a Human Connection Specialist, founder of Create the Love, and host of the Mark Groves Podcast.
Mark's work bridges the academic and the human, inviting people to explore the good, the bad, the downright ugly, and the beautiful sides of connection.
About Kylie McBeath
Kylie McBeath, also known as @beingisbeautiful to her 130K Instagram followers, shares daily guidance and teachings on relationships, spirituality, and embodied liberation.
She is also a Certified Health Coach and the host of The Journey Home podcast.
Listen To The Latest Episodes…
Don't Miss New Episodes: Follow Wellness + Wisdom on Spotify
