AMA: The Power of Language, How Men Can Create Long-Lasting Intimacy + How To Heal From Divorce To Start Anew

Wellness + Wisdom Episode 627

Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host and Wellness Force Media CEO, Josh Trent, shares how the power of language impacts your life, what men can do to create a long-lasting relationship and intimacy with their women, and how to bring two families together.

Today's Questions

Ian Vogel: Are there any words that you intentionally don't use because you find that they can impede your ability to communicate with somebody. I'm curious, are there any words or maybe speech patterns that you intentionally don't use because they get in the way?

And if there are, how would you determine, or what's your criteria for determining whether a word is actually useful or not, or if you should banish it?

MelissaI'm starting a new relationship, I'm formally divorced and I have a child, and he is formally divorced and also has a child. So we are working through what that looks like to bring two families together and all the struggles of the past that we're trying to help each other heal through and move forward and build something. So What are your thoughts on that?

Archer: In your opinion, what are the top 3 things that men can do to improve and sustain their relationships, and marriages, women and even outside of providing and provision?

solocast ask me anything

Listen To Episode 627 As Josh Trent Answers Your Questions

[05:15] The Power of Language

Let's get into this AMA today. Question number one is from my homie who I've done training with, my friend, Ian Vogel. Let's tune in to what Ian has to say.

Now, Mar, you and I picked this question because don't we, you and I, practice language together all the time, the most empowering language? Every single day. Yes.

Before you had heard about this concept of language and like using language, had it ever come into your awareness the way that we use it with each other?

Sometimes, but more Not in a sense like paying attention to every single word, but more like how I talk to myself in my head, especially.

So like taking myself down and just like calling myself names when I do something wrong and just like these little details, but I haven't thought about it before in relation to other people and like how I actually express myself.

So it was more about the inner talk. Yeah. Inner dialogue is definitely where outer dialogue comes from.

That is for sure, which we're going to talk about in the critical factor today from Ian's question.

So let's listen to what Ian has to say.

Josh Trent, my man. I hope you're doing well. As always, I love the content you're putting out. My question for you revolves around language. Are there any words that you intentionally don't use because you find that they can impede your ability to communicate with somebody.

For example, the first thing that pops into my head is the word shaman.
I intentionally don't use that word because it seems to have a different meaning for everybody.

And I find that using that word just muddies the water.
So I'm curious, are there any words or maybe speech patterns that you intentionally don't use because they get in the way?

And if there are, how would you determine, or what's your criteria for determining whether a word is actually useful or not, or if you should banish it? And maybe a quick follow-up question, Are there any words that you have banished from your dictionary or lexicon intentionally? I'd love to know.

So good. Look at the word etymology, right? The word etymology is the study of the origin of words and the way in which that meaning has changed throughout history.

I mean, that should be everything we need to know about why language is malleable. And language literally is a spell.

So there's a practical scientific explanation for this, and then there's also a more grounded spiritual way to experience this.

You know, I'll throw it to you, Mar, so you had said inner dialogue is something that you have been focusing on since we've been working together, And it's been something that I've been aware of since 2008, 2009.

Am I perfect at practicing it? No. Do I do my best? Yes. But the one thing for me, and I'm curious how you feel before I go into both spiritual and scientific definitions for Ian, is this.

Don't you believe that in communication, whoever uses language and then corrects themselves on the language they use is vulnerable, is authentic, and truly has the most power because there's nothing to hide?

There's peacefulness in the way they communicate…

[17:30] Blending Two Families Into One

Let's go to the next question here. So our next question is from Melissa. I did the training with Melissa as well, too. Our NLP master prac training together. So let's see what Melissa has to say.

Hi Josh, it's Melissa from Canada. I wanted to say thank you for the episode that you made with Carrie Michelle and for both sharing so openly in that episode about your experiences.

After that time, having some time since then, I was wondering if you had any new learnings that you could share, kind of in general on relationships, and maybe even more specifically anything that you could share from the perspective of someone that, for me, starting a new relationship.

So I'm starting a new relationship, I'm formally divorced and I have a child, and he is formally divorced and also has a child. So we are working through what that looks like to bring two families together and all the struggles of the past that we're trying to help each other heal through and move forward and build something. So What are your thoughts on that? Thanks so much, Josh.

Amazing. So I can speak from what I know and I'm not gonna speak from what I don't know.
What I do know is that even the question that Melissa is asking shows that she has the pure intention to bring healing to a blended family. And that's really what we're talking about, right?

It's actually twofold. Before we get to the blended family, let's talk about this. For all y'all that have been through divorce, divorce can feel like the most gut-wrenching, most insane, most growth-producing, by the way, if you approach it from a learning lesson mentality that I think any man or woman could ever go through on planet Earth, really.

I can't think of something more painful and more just abrupt to the nervous system, the heart, and the mind. So before you even blend the families, you have to create the container to do so.

But the container to do so actually with you, because as we've talked about so much more on these AMAs, it is really about awareness first with everything.

It's about know thy self, written on the temple at the Apollo in Greek mythology. So if we understand that the container is anything of creativity, of connection, of a blended family, it starts with, how are we, what is our intention inside of us?

And how are we going to put that intention into the space, right? So the intention I would suggest for you would be to go deep within yourself and have a specific practice of emotional inventory.

You can listen to our AMAs Or by the way, you can just meditate and get clear from journaling. You don't have to do my EI2 process. I know that it works, cause I do it myself.

[28:30] How to Create a Harmonious Relationship

Let's move on to the last question. It is from Archer. I met Archer here in Austin. And by the way, y'all, all your questions can be dropped at JoshTrent.com/AMA. So 90 seconds or less, it's so easy.

And if you've been wanting to just get a place, get to a place different than been in a long time, or just some different thoughts or different feedback, or you want to pose a question because you're interested in the evolution of humanity.

It doesn't have to be deep. It can be deep because I like it deep. That's my preference. Okay, let's hear from Archer.

Hello, Josh and the wellness and wisdom team. Thank you all so much for what you do. I've got a question for the AMA. In your opinion, what are the top 3 things that men can do to improve and sustain their relationships, and marriages, women and even outside of providing and provision?

So yeah, what are the top 3 things men can do to create harmonious, long-lasting, beautiful relationships and marriages?

So good. Before I answer this, Mar, what do you think women want from their men? That's the million-dollar question. What do women want? I think most women don't even know what they want. I think that's the main issue.

So I think a lot of us, and this is based on Alison Armstrong's work, The Queen's Code, a lot of women just expect to have another woman, somebody who shows up as their bestie, right? As another woman.

And when they meet a man, they don't realize that men work and act completely differently than women. And this was a really wake-up call for me.

So Alison Armstrong's Queen's Code, it really opened my eyes and I really recommend all the women to listen to it because, oh my God, it's life-changing. Were you a frog farmer? Yes. Oh, big-time frog farmer.

Y'all need… y'all get to see. I just caught myself, right? You don't need to listen to the episode because nothing I say you ever have to do. We're just here to present information and a different way of thinking, and you make the conscious choice based on your level of development. Isn't that awesome? There's no pressure.

Now that authentic use of language, to go back to Ian's first question. I don't think you have to, I think you get to, you get to understand this concept of are you a frog farmer or not? That'll really help the women who want to connect with their men on a deeper level.

And by the way, for men, it's a great read as well. We've done 2 episodes with Alison Armstrong on the podcast. They're linked in this AMA, wherever you're listening.

And what I could say to start is, and you touched on it more, it's first and foremost, how do you create long-lasting connection with your wife, with your girlfriend, as a man? First and foremost, you honor our sacred differences. Now, what do I mean by this?

A woman is a woman not just for the fact she has different chromosomes than a man, that's a biological difference, which by the way, plays out and shows up in many emotional and mental constructs as well.

So first and foremost, if you're the kind of person who doesn't believe that there's a gender, you should probably not listen to this podcast nor ever join our community because we believe in honoring the nature.

So that's first and foremost. There is no such thing as a genderless society. There is a society where we honor our sacred differences, both biologically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically, everything.

Because here's what happens, like you said, Mar, when a woman gets into a relationship with a man and she's frog farming, which I love that term. It's such a fun term. Allison's so good at what she does. I mean, like multiple decades in just helping women understand men. So y'all get to check out that episode.

When a man gets into a relationship, he is not a woman. He is not just a hairy woman. He is a man. And so being secure in your masculinity, doing your inner work as a man to understand your own femininity. And this is a total flip on the construct here…



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About Josh Trent

Josh Trent lives in Austin, Texas with his love Carrie Michelle, son Novah, daughter Nayah + a cat named Cleo. He is the host of the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast and the creator of the BREATHE: Breath + Wellness Program. Josh has spent the past 20+ years as a trainer, researcher + facilitator discovering the physical and emotional intelligence for humans to thrive in our modern world. Helping humans LIBERATE their mental, emotional, physical, spiritual + financial self through podcasts, programs + global community that believe in optimizing our potential to live life well.

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