Learning you’ve tested positive for an STD is one of life’s scariest moments, although telling your partner the news probably evokes just as much fear. Revealing the news to your partner ensures they get tested and treated if they’ve contracted an STD. If both people aren't treated for the STD, reinfection will continue. But, exactly how do you tell someone you love that you've tested positive for an STD?
Every situation is unique. Perhaps you learned about the STD soon after the relationship started. Perhaps you took a break from one another and contracted the infection during a short stint with another partner. Or, maybe your partner had an affair. Sad to say, affairs happen, although that’s an issue in and of itself. The possibilities of how you contracted the STD are endless. What’s important now is treating the STD with antibiotics from Hello Wisp and telling your partner the news.
Approach the situation honestly, accepting that the conversation is a step toward prioritizing your health and well-being. It is scary, but necessary, as you will soon learn. In this blog, we’ll guide you through that difficult conversation by offering a few helpful tips to help you start the conversation with the person you love.
Table of Contents
Why Telling Your Partner You Have an STD is Important
Telling your partner you've tested positive for an STD is not a conversation you likely ever thought you’d have, but is one of the most important you’ll ever have. Sexually transmitted infections do more than temporarily prevent sex. An untreated infection can lead to serious complications and health problems, including infertility.
Plus, without telling your partner about the STD, you’ll continue to get reinfected until it's treated. That certainly isn’t the scenario anyone wants to experience. If you do not reveal the information about the STD to your partner, it may also lead to problems in your relationship when your partner finally realizes something is wrong.
Choose the Right Time and Place:
Select an appropriate setting where you both can have a calm and uninterrupted conversation. It's crucial to choose a time when you're both emotionally available and can dedicate sufficient time to discuss the matter. Avoid discussing the topic during intimate or sensitive moments, as it may add unnecessary pressure or strain on the conversation.
Use “I” Statements:
When expressing yourself, use “I” statements to avoid sounding accusatory. For example, say, “I have recently received some concerning news about my health, and I feel it's important for us to discuss it,” instead of starting with “You need to know that I tested positive for an STD.” This approach helps to foster open communication and encourages your partner to share their thoughts and feelings as well.
Don’t Delay the Conversation
Telling your partner you've tested positive for an STD is undoubtedly a difficult conversation, yet having it as soon as possible protects you and your partner. Your partner can test for STDs and get treated if necessary sooner, reducing the risk of health complications. Attempt the conversation when you and your partner are both relaxed and free of stress to reduce the potential chaos as you reveal the information.
Reverse the Roles
If someone you had sexual intercourse with tested positive for an STD and needed to reveal this information to you, what would you expect them to say? Knowing what you would want and expect to hear in the same situation can help implant the perfect words in your mind to ease tension during the conversation.
Be Direct & Honest
It is hard to discuss an STD infestation with your partner, especially if you have tested positive. However, it is essential that you have this discussion and in doing so, honesty is important. Do not leave any questions pondering in your partner's mind once you tell them the information. Being direct and honest will help you tell your partner easily versus procrastinating even longer.
Listen to What Your Partner has to Say
One of the most important things you can do after telling your partner you’ve tested positive for an STD is to listen. Your partner may be confused and certainly will have questions. Answer the questions honestly and to the best of your ability. Their emotions may run wild at the moment. Expect them to feel angry and/or sad. Give your partner time to think, reflect, and comprehend the information. Give them time to talk and listen to what they have to say. They likely have much on their mind they need to get off.
Arm Yourself With STD Facts
Asking questions about STDs can help ease some of the anxiety and fear that comes after learning about an STD infection. Arm yourself with facts about the type of STD you've contracted ahead of the conversation so you can answer as many questions as possible and provide your partner with much-needed information. You can find plenty of information from trusted sources online. Your local health department and doctor's office can also provide you with pamphlets and brochures regarding STDs.
Intimacy is More Than Intercourse
Remember that while intercourse may be out of the question for some time, depending on the type of STD you’ve contracted, there are many other ways to introduce intimacy into the relationship. If you decide to have intercourse in the meantime, use condoms to prevent reinfection.
Discuss Future Prevention and Safe Practices:
Once you've had an open conversation about your diagnosis, it's crucial to discuss steps you can take together to prevent the spread of the infection and protect each other's health. Talk about safe sex practices, the use of barrier methods like condoms, regular testing, and any necessary treatment options available. Emphasize the importance of open communication and transparency in maintaining a healthy sexual relationship.
The Bottom Line
Discussing a positive test result with your partner is difficult, but necessary. We hope you can ease into the conversation a little easier with help from the provided tips.
