We live in a world of screens and that screen between us filters out our ability to truly “see’ and empathize with each other.
The screen between us is a barrier which creates greater disconnection, prevents us from “going deep,” and makes it appear easier to both let people into our personal space and toss them away simultaneously.
The Screen Disconnects Us
The screen between us makes it easier to swipe each other away, while in search for that non-existing perfection, fully disregarding that this is a person we are swiping away- a human. An individual person with thoughts and feelings and many different facial expressions besides those few filtered selfies.
The screen between us makes it easier for me to express to people “you are beautiful”, “you are stunning”, “your picture is amazing”, or “your life looks amazing” which then builds up an image in my mind surrounding a person that only captures one dimension of their multifaceted life.
The screen between us makes it harder for me to look you in the eye, the only way I can truly connect with you on a deeper and more intimate level. When we remove this screen and are face to face, can you still look me in the eye? Would you say and do the things you can so easily say and do with a screen between us?
When we remove this screen and are face to face, can you still look me in the eye? Would you say and do the things you can so easily say and do with a screen between us?
The Screen Lets Us Play Make Believe
The screen between us has removed my ability to feel your actual emotions. This is slowly numbing my ability to feel for people in a genuine way and making it easier for people to become disposable to me.
The screen between us makes it easier for me to “ghost” you, and jump to the next shinier looking person, keeping my dopamine high and false sense of fulfillment, always chasing that next glittery high.
The screen between us makes it easier for me to judge your life, based solely on small captured moments, without truly knowing or understanding you. It can make me “fall in love” with an idea of you and believe that I love you. Eventually, I end up feeling really let down when I realize you are an actual human with emotions and intimacy needs rather than a pretty face and fun person to flirt with.
The screen between us makes it very easy to say things we don’t truly mean, create stories, and believe things about people that aren’t real.
The Screen Makes It Easy To…
The screen between us makes for a nice easy out from picking up the phone and having an actual conversation, from facing each other and just being. From feeling each other and loving each other into a deeper more intimate space. My ability to work through difficulties with you fades away. And when it gets challenging…
The screen between us makes it easier for me to give up on you. It gives me an easy out. Multiple outs. And reasons to never get quite where I think I’m heading…
The screen between us leads us to believe something is bigger and better, shinier, happier, brighter, and much more fun- but it’s outside of us and we have to chase it down.
The screen between us makes it easy for us to search for answers outside of our own heart, and to justify our pathology through taking on other people’s ideas and perspectives, slowly losing our ability to perceive and make personal decisions from our own heart.
The screen between us makes it easy.
But When We Are Face To Face…
When we are face to face, I can look into your eyes and peer into your soul. I can hear your tone and read your emotions more clearly. I can see you. I can know you, all of you. I can empathize with your pain, and in doing so my empathy towards others can grow.
When we are face to face you are no longer a selfie or an image. You are no longer one dimensional. You aren’t glittery and shiny and filtered and planned out. Rather, you are naked, exposed, raw, and unplanned. You have edges and moods.
When we are face to face You are home. You are a place where our souls can grow.
When we are face to face I can touch your skin and hold your hand, and run my fingers through your hair. I can tickle you, and wrestle with you, and we can laugh and cry fully experiencing all the senses.
When we are face to face I can focus my energy on you, rather than scattering it about multiple people at any given time, while never being truly present with those in my life that truly matter.
When we are face to face I can see your pain, and feel your love. I can dance in your presence, sense your anxieties, and hold space for your fears. I can learn the delicate art of loving and being loved.
When we are face to face we can trigger each other, which can be painful and difficult but will lead us to a deeper understanding of both ourselves and others.
When we are face to face we can work through hard things together, and truly grow together.
When we are face to face It’ scary. It’s not easy. It’s raw, and real, and authentic. It’s up and down and triggering. A dance of light and dark.
When we are face to face it’s not easy, and it’s absolutely beautiful!
About The Author | Kathryn Kos
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