“Toxic” Femininity & Masculinity: How The Establishment Divides Us | Boysen Hodgson
“Masculinity and femininity are inherently beautiful, yet the media has distorted these words with the phrase “toxic.” Together, now we get to decide as a culture how to move forward with a new narrative. Society is changing, and we’re not going backward.” – Boysen Hodgson
What factors of our culture and society are no longer serving the feminine and masculine? How can we come and work together to create something new that fits what we want?
In Wellness + Wisdom episode 258, Marketing & Communications Director for The ManKind Project USA and author of The New Macho, Boysen Hodgson, explains what has created “toxic” masculinity and feminity, how men and women can process and connect through safe spaces, and the #IAmResponsible Campaign that MKP has launched in response to #MeToo.
Learn how men can support each other to heal from their past traumas, come to their whole masculine and feminine selves, and realign with women.
The ManKind Project Presents:
The New Warrior Training Adventure
The New Warrior Training Adventure is a challenging real-time hero's journey. It's safe, supportive and cutting edge. It is not a retreat, a conference or a workshop. It is unlike anything you've done before. Many men say that this experience is a turning point in their lives, an event that marks the beginning of a new way of being in the world.
It is a singular type of life-affirming event, honoring the best in what men have to offer the planet. We are only able to recognize the powerful brilliance of men because we are willing to look at, and take full responsibility for, the pain we are also capable of creating … and suffering. This is the paradox of modern masculinity, and it is a lesson we are dedicated to learning and teaching.
The New Warrior Training Adventure is a modern male initiation and self-examination. We believe that this is crucial to the development of a healthy and mature male self, no matter how old a man is. It is the “hero's journey” of classical literature and myth that has nearly disappeared in modern culture. We ask men to stop living vicariously through movies, television, addictions, and distractions and step up into their own adventure – in real time and surrounded by other men.
What we practice at The New Warrior Training Adventure and why:
- Emotional Authenticity – Because we believe in honesty and wholeness … we practice emotional intelligence and self-awareness.
- Personal Responsibility – Because we value integrity and accountability … we take 100% responsibility for our feelings, and we own the impacts – both positive and negative – of our choices and actions.
- Leadership Mastery – Because we believe that role models change lives … we practice highly principled personal, interpersonal, and group leadership.
- Empowered Mission – Because we value generosity, service, and connection to spirit … we explore and live from our deepest purpose.
- Supportive Community – Because we care for ourselves and the generations to come … we create a place for men from all walks of life to learn and teach in a safe, respectful, challenging, and inclusive peer-network.
New Warrior Training Adventure – ManKind Project
Listen To Episode 258 As Boysen Hodgson Uncovers:
- The ManKind's mission as a non-profit and the work they do which includes men's groups all over the US, over 150 global training programs, and The New Warrior Training Adventure.
- Some of his top influences including David Deida and authors of King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine, Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette.
- Why more than ever we need to teach men that they can express their emotions, be vulnerable, and more nurturing.
- The narrative and division we see in the media focusing on “toxic” femininity and masculinity.
- Where the phrase, “toxic” masculinity comes from as a counterpoint to “deep” masculinity.
- “Toxic” masculinity compared to “toxic” femininity in a world of disconnection and the wave of the feminist movement.
- How today's modern world is affecting men in the workplace, at home, and higher rates of depression and suicide.
- Epigenetics and long legacies of trauma that has been inflicted on portions of our society.
- The powerful practices of moving, zen, and sitting meditation.
- How they use various archetypes to embody different energies during their Men's Work at MKP.
- Why the archetype, Sovereignty, is so important for both the masculine and the feminine.
- The power of purpose and how it and the sovereign energy directly impact your life.
- Where he was at in his purpose, thoughts, and relationships during his 20s vs. now as a husband, father, and part of MKP's mission.
- Lessons he learned from observing his father's relationships, his own unhealthy relationship, and processing all of that before he could let go and become his own purpose.
- How men and women can process and connect together and alone through safe spaces.
- How men can support each other to heal from their past traumas, come to their whole masculine and feminine selves, and realign with women who've also done the work.
- How “pink collar jobs” such as teaching have created a divide between men and women as far as what careers are acceptable for each gender.
- How doing men's work has helped him tap into his himself and his inner Golden Child to help the relationship he has with his children grow.
Power Quotes From The ShowAs a society, we have to slow down, be present, and get quiet. It's only in that quiet that I can hear my soul or that I can create the possibility to hear yours. - @boysenh of @mankindproject Click To Tweet
“We have launched a campaign, #IAmResponsible, in response to #MeToo. It's not about, ‘Hey, Brother – I'm responsible for your actions' but ‘I'm 100% responsible for my actions, for creating the type of culture that I want to live in, and for what masculinity looks like today.” – Boysen Hodgson
“At men's group, ‘breathe' is probably the first and most powerful incantation that I can do with a man doing a piece of emotional process work. Where are you breathing, how are you breathing into your body, where do I see you inhabiting breath into your body? When you stop breathing, that tells me something about what you're going through.” – Boysen Hodgson
“Both men and women whether individually or in groups, let's trust each other enough to let us do that work. Society has changed and we're not going backward. What the world needs from us as men is different than what the world needed from us then. Let's move toward the evolution of creating beautiful hearts that want to be connected, loved, shared, and protected.” – Boysen Hodgson
“The environment has to be painful enough to motivate a man enough to take action. Men will have a sense in their gut that it's time to do something. So, what we can all do as men is to create and hold a space for when you see a man in your life who you know is experiencing that.” – Boysen Hodgson
“Men will show up. Men are hungry to be healthy influences and role models. We can fix our community by showing up as men. Through #IAmResponsible, we're stating that we are 100% responsible for our actions, for creating the type of culture that we want to live in, and for what masculinity looks like today.” – Boysen Hodgson
ManKind Project – New Warrior Homecoming Celebration – Australia
Links From Today's Show
- Boysen Hodgson
- The ManKindProject
- The New Warrior Training Adventure
- The New Macho by Boysen Hodgson
- #IAmResponsible Campaign
- David Deida
- King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature Masculine by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette
- Dr. Robert Augustus Masters
- Iron John by Robert Bly
- The Art of Charm Podcast
- Dr. Shepherd Bliss
- The End of Men by Hanna Rosin
- We Believe: The Best Men Can Be | Gillette (Short Film)
- Integral Meditation by Ken Wilbur
- Planet on Purpose by Brandon Peele
- Amber Ward of Life UnLtd
- The M21 Guide from Wellness Force
- WFR 149 Johnny Blackburn
About Boysen Hodgson
He is a writer, speaker, and facilitator on the issues that men must face in the 21st century. His personal mission is to transform culture by designing change, building bridges, and co-creating space for connection.
He has been working with men, facilitating men’s social-emotional development work, and building bridges for cultural transformation for over a dozen years in his work with the ManKind Project and other progressive personal development organizations. In 2010, he wrote “The New Macho,” a credo for healthy masculinity that struck a chord with some people. It’s now been shared over 50,000 times and republished in numerous blogs, magazines, and books. He works at being a dedicated husband, a present and supportive adoptive Dad, an urban homesteader who sometimes mows the lawn, and a wistful cyclist.