“You have to become aware of who you are as a human being. We depend on other people to tell us who we are, we're not confident in ourselves to say: I can know myself, I don't believe this to be true.” – Mark Tollefson
Wellness + Wisdom Episode 521
Mark Tollefson, a mentor and vision quest leader, guiding people through rites of passage into their most authentic selves, joins Josh Trent for the first time on the Wellness + Wisdom Podcast to share his journey back to nature and spirituality, and the lessons he learned throughout his life about happiness, wisdom, and wellness.
What does it mean to live a spiritual life?
In this episode, Mark and Josh discuss the purpose of vision quests and how the modern vision quest has adapted to our society, why living the “right way” won't bring you happiness, and what it means to love without control.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”Falling in love with people deeply should be our experience every day. – Mark Tollefson” quote=”Falling in love with people deeply should be our experience every day. – Mark Tollefson”]
Listen To Episode 521 As Mark Tollefson Uncovers:
[01:30] Celebration Of Men's Spiritual Awakening
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The differences Mark sees between California and Austin.
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His journey to vision quests through a book.
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How he faced cultural misappropriation and found a way to make vision quests understandable to modern people.
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Josh's experience on a vision quest.
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Traditional Native American quest VS modern quest.
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How the quest celebrates men's spiritual awakening.
[19:30] Embarking On A Quest
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The reason why quest participants become a family after only 3 days.
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Why we should fall in love with people every day and why we don't anymore.
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The different levels of intensity, mythologies, and types of quests.
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Why we have to allow ourselves to be claimed by nature.
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What it means to live a spiritual life and why people spiritually bypass.
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The importance of knowing who you are as a human being and the consequences of lying to yourself.
[34:10] Searching For Answers Within Us
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How the demographics of quests have changed throughout the years.
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Why people are miserable even when they have lived the “right way.”
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The three core griefs we have about ourselves, other people, and the world.
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How we bury the feeling that there is something bigger than you in the world.
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Why we need to stop believing what other people say about us and start asking better questions and letting the universe reflect back to us what the answers could be.
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The relational space between people.
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How we can put the universe together moment by moment.
[52:40] Self Introspection
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How talk therapy is a complementary tool in the search for who we are.
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Why elders never tell you directly what to do.
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Shortening the cycle of recommitment.
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Why committing to hard work is often more important than having talent.
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Essentials for introspection: Going in nature, building an altar, and disconnecting.
- The Map of Consciousness Explained: A Proven Energy Scale to Actualize Your Ultimate Potential by David Hawkins
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How spiritual learning never actually ends.
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Allowing yourself to stop to be found when you get lost.
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The essence of committing to something, and why intentions need motivation.
[01:18:10] Healing Generational + Collective Trauma
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Epigenetically we remember what life in a village is like.
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We are responsible for taking care of our generational trauma.
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How Mike's work honors and helps heal the collective trauma and why he doesn't work in a binary system.
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Why we have to come together in order to heal.
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The reason we have to stop lying to ourselves so that we can collectively heal.
[01:35:50] Love Without Control
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Why Mike finds commitment to change to be a crucial step in growth.
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What loving without control looks like.
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Why expectations kill relationships.
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How we are conditioned to love with control and how ceremony can help remove this conditioning if we commit to healing.
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Why we have to build our connection to nature and spirit.
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How we can find the capacity in ourselves and others to awaken.
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The prophecy of the elders.
[01:54:00] Transforming Our Emotions
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Why Josh was angry at the collective.
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Why it's our responsibility to heal despite our unconscious incompetence.
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The challenge of having children.
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Four basic emotions: Anger, sadness, fear, and joy.
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Depression is a combination of anger and sadness.
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How Mike transformed his hate for the world into something better.
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Why Mike sees wellness as beautifying relational spaces and making peace.
- Vision Quest
Power Quotes From The Show
[click_to_tweet tweet=”There has to be enough maturation in somebody's life to get to the point where they're sick and tired of living that way another day. – Mark Tollefson” quote=”There has to be enough maturation in somebody's life to get to the point where they're sick and tired of living that way another day. – Mark Tollefson”]
The Wisdom Of Elders
“Elders are crystal clear about who they are as human beings. They know their foibles, they know about anger, sadness, fear, joy, and they're able to feel and express those fully and completely in their day-to-day lives.” – Mark Tollefson
The Land Will Claim Us
“The land speaks. When we are born of this land, the lands will claim us. When we come here and make this land our home, the land will claim us. When we come here and sleep under these mountains, the land will claim us.” – Mark Tollefson
Building The Connection
“What we have to do with ourselves and our relationships is to be building our connection to nature and spirit as fast as the constructs of technology are being built around us.” – Mark Tollefson
Links From Today's Show
- 510 SOLOCAST | Rite of Passage: What Your Ancestors Are Trying To Tell You
- The Map of Consciousness Explained: A Proven Energy Scale to Actualize Your Ultimate Potential by David Hawkins
- Vision Quest
- Shop the Wellness Force Media Store
- breathwork.io
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- M21 Wellness Guide
- Wellness Force Community
- Leave Wellness + Wisdom a review on Apple Podcasts
- Mark Tollefson
About Mark Tollefson
Mark Tollefson has been teaching nature-based connection and facilitating transformation for 30 years. From a young age mentored by people intimately connected to their lineage and nature-based roots, he brings rich life experience and wisdom to his work.
Mark has been a survival skills instructor at Tom Brown Jr.’s Tracker School, and the executive director of Wilderness Youth Project and the Center for Urban Agriculture at Fairview Gardens in Santa Barbara.
He has owned a pub and restaurant, worked as a roughneck in the oil fields, helped open an international high school in New Zealand, and founded his own non-profit working to promote sustainable farming with the Maya of southern Belize.
He has participated in and started many men’s groups and has sat in a circle with men for many years.
He has guided hundreds of people through rites of passage into holistic living and thinking, helping those he works with to step into a new paradigm of being that is based on Thriving Life, connected to our true purpose for being alive at this time.
