What does vulnerability MEAN to you? How can we ALLOW ourselves to be vulnerable? What does it FEEL like to be aligned with ourselves when dealing with emotional destruction?
These are all things that we ask ourselves and ideas that cross our mind while going through emotional healing.
When It All Aligns
Life continues forward but our emotions seem to lag behind us. Often times, we get caught in a position of trying to let go of how we feel and move past the trauma and hurt in our heart. Bad things happen all the time, we face things that are painful in many ways, and most importantly, we tend to suppress the emotions we feel.
When we suppress these emotions, we fill a void in our souls and occupy ourselves with greater things than healing. Things like an overly busy schedule, never allowing ourselves to be alone because we don’t want to feel pain, shopping, working hectic hours, spending our time and suppressing emotions into outlets that help us forget.
But is forgetting the pain and emotion we feel the right thing to do?
The truth is there is no right or wrong answer. There is no one way to do things. There is no cookie cutter process that will help you through your emotional pain and suffering. But the one thing that I can tell you is that the truth is inside you. The truth is buried so deep inside your soul that it will take searching, it will take time and understanding, it may even take days…weeks…months…or even years. It will take a major loss and replacing it with small wins, it will take you to endless amounts of time sitting and thinking of why you're going through this, it will take you through emotional battles that you never ever felt before…but you need to realize this is the beauty of healing.
Taking Advantage of Your Root Cause of Pain
When you are truly ready to heal from your emotional pain something will click inside you. When you feel that “click,” your universe will align. Suddenly, you will understand why everything has been happening the way it has and you will come to the realization that there was ALWAYS a root cause. You just need to search for that root cause.
Once you find your root cause you can do one of two things. You can suppress your emotions again or you can become vulnerable. Become so vulnerable that you allow yourself to understand what the universe has given you. Allow yourself to feel the sudden shift in your emotions where you do not feel sad anymore but otherwise… quite happy.
Vulnerability Is Strength
Vulnerability is relieving.
It’s finally letting go of the pain you’ve been suffering. It's realizing how much you’ve truly gained over the period of time rather than what you lost or what has caused you pain. It’s realizing that it’s completely okay to allow yourself to feel at your lowest point and not be embarrassed about it or hide your true feelings.
Vulnerability is strength.
Having the ability to come forward and put everything you are feeling into your reality is a true strength. One; because not many people can do this; two, this may be the absolute greatest strength you will ever have; and three, it’s not about winning or losing…it’s about having the strength to show up and been seen every day without having any control over the true outcome.
Vulnerability is about being brave and powerful.
Therefore, don’t “go” through emotional trauma, “grow” through emotional trauma. It will always seem like an endless road in the beginning but it always gets easier when you allow yourself to find your root cause.
How to Heal Your Emotional Pain
Here are some tips I’ve personally used to help me get through emotional healing and to help you be mindful for when you start your own healing journey:
1. Quit Suppressing, Start Feeling
The moment our feelings our suppressed, we hinder our growth. When we push our emotions aside, we are not able to move on. Allow yourself to feel, cry, laugh, be, and talk. When we let these emotions out, it takes a weight off our chest and allows space to open up within to allow more energy and emotion to flow through.
2. Talk It Out, Even If It Sounds Crazy
We live in our head 24hrs a day for the rest of our lives. Make this place a happy place. Don’t live in your own thoughts; talk it out. Hear it out loud. Find someone who is willing to always listen…and just listen. Sometimes allowing yourself to talk about situations out loud or to someone else gives you a different perspective and allows you to think outside of the box. It even allows you to put pieces together that you never understood before. Talking out loud may also help you to realize you are only human and you are bound to face emotional problems and in the end, it's not at bad as it may seem inside your head.
3. Do Some Soul Searching
Dig deep. What is truly bugging you? Find the root cause of your emotional pain and suffering. There is ALWAYS an underlying reason that these emotions are surfacing. It may be small or bigger than you anything you’ve ever experienced or felt. Pay attention to patterns you see in your behavior, negative self-talk, lack of emotional engagement, as well as habits you do or the way you react to a situation. There is always a link between your emotional trauma and the way you may be behaving right now. Pay attention to what you feed your body, how you allow your body to move energy through, and the things you allow to happen. These are all different things to be aware of and engaged in during emotional healing.
4. Find Your Truth And Honesty
Just because you did some soul searching and found the root cause of your pain, it doesn’t mean you’re not still in denial of any sort. Be raw… find your truth. Stay true and be honest with yourself even if it hurts just a little. This is what you need. This is how we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. Until you realize and understand that it is okay to feel what you feel in this present moment and there is a reason for it. When you can allow yourself to be more aware, that is when the emotional healing will start. It's important to be easy on yourself and allow yourself to grow and learn from what you are experiencing.
5. Time To Heal
Heal the broken pieces, reconstruct your destruction, and find peace within yourself to allow forward movement in your life rather than stagnation. The body is a whole, so treat it like your very own universe. As humans, we are collected holistically through the mind, body, and spirit. Give your universe the tools to heal.
Eat clean, healthy, real foods and nourish every living cell of your body.
Get movement and flow into your daily routine.
It doesn’t matter what kind of activity you are doing but be sure to do something. Whether is it going to the gym, on a nature walk, playing outside with the kids, doing a fitness class, going on a bike ride, practicing a form of meditation, or whatever it may be that your heart desires. Just make sure to get it in! Get the energy moving and flowing.
Focus on a bedtime routine.
Sleep is an extremely important part of emotional healing. Sleep is when the body rejuvenates, detoxifies, and replenishes. Without a good night sleep (I am sure you’ve noticed), the next day usually isn’t the greatest day! Sleep will allow for better brain function, happiness, alertness, more energy, and help you through your emotional healing.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who lift you UP and raise your energy.
Practice a form of meditation.
It may be yoga, Thai Chi, box-breathing, nature walks, journaling, or grounding yourself. This is so important to help you connect and tune into your self to align your emotions, allow for forgiveness, and assisting in letting go the negative and bringing in the positive.
Forgiving yourself is key to moving forward. Forgive yourself for allowing hurt in your heart. Even forgive the person that may have hurt you…even if you don’t want to. It is important to see the perspective of forgiving someone, not because they hurt you, but forgive them so you can move forward with no baggage in your heart.
Look For Signs From The Universe
During emotional healing, there will always be lessons learned, gained, and experience coming through. It is how you choose to look at the situation and the way you react to it. When you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you can then see how everything starts to align.
Pay attention to the signs coming towards you from the universe. There is ALWAYS a sign. Pay attention to the law of attraction, how the universe starts bringing goodness into your life, and how things start to turn around. Pay attention to the way you REACT to a situation after you’ve allowed yourself to become vulnerable.
About Ayla Krasa
Ayla Krasa, RHN, CPT
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