Wellness + Wisdom Episode 641
Wellness + Wisdom Podcast Host and Wellness Force Media CEO, Josh Trent, shares his personal story of how he overcame porn addiction, what was the initial root cause of it, and how he found the missing link within himself.
Today's Question
Could you share the struggles you had with pornography starting with your history when you thought it was a problem, how you overcame it, and how life has changed for you now?
Listen To Episode 641 As Josh Trent Answers Your Questions
[00:00] Intro
What's going on everybody? It's Josh Trent. You've made it back or maybe your first time to the podcast. This is Wellness + Wisdom. It's a place where we gather, apply, and embody the wellness and the wisdom to nourish the of ourself.
Look, we call this the wellness pentagon, right? And you all know that it's what you're working on currently, otherwise, you wouldn't be here. This is the physical, the emotional, mental, spiritual, and financial ways that we all signed up to thrive, not just to live, not just to survive, to freaking thrive here on planet Earth.
This wellness pentagon is what we teach from, it's the lens we see life from. And these AMAs that are always free by the way, from my heart to yours, because I love this liberated life so much that we're learning about, that we're embodying and that we're doing our best to show up for every single day.
I am here as always with Mar who lives on a beautiful island, the Azores, out in the middle of the ocean with crested cliff lines and beautiful clouds and birds and nature. I'm just so jealous of the nature, Mar. How are you doing today? How are you feeling?
Today? I'm just grateful that I have the capacity to face the challenges with this really positive attitude. And it's just like making everything so much easier in life. So I'm super grateful for that.
Wow, I'm grateful for that reminder. I get to embody that gratitude as well. We're in the middle of moving 2 children into a house, and dealing with contractors. 10 years ago, y'all, I would have killed for these problems. So perspective is everything. And I'm grateful for these problems. They're actually just opportunities for growth.
And that's not me just pulling the wool over my own eyes. It's literally the way that I live my life. Because look, I don't care if you're 10 years old or 90 years old or any space in between. I think we're all on the same path.
We are all on this path of desiring peace, desiring to be liberated from these freaking manufactured concerns of society and social media, how women should act, how men should be, all this bullshit that we've believed is truth is actually just a lie.
And so we're here to uncover that today, specifically through the vehicle of 1 of the biggest threats, I believe, towards the male mind and the female mind, and that is pornography…
[02:20] The Journey from Porn Addiction to Freedom
Let's listen to this question from our audience member.
Hey Josh, I was wondering if you could share the struggles you had with pornography starting with, you know, your history when you thought it was a problem, how you overcame it, and how life has changed for you now. If you could share that with your listeners, I think that'd be very beneficial. Thank you so much.
What a sweet, what a really genuine sweetheart I felt from her. I don't know your name, but thank you for, for leaving your question.
The greatest gift we have is our time. So I'm super grateful that you spent your time and your heart and your energy just putting that question out there.
Look, we only chose one question for this AMA because this is a very deep topic. A great resource for this is episode 640 with Sathiya Sam. I do go into my story quite a bit in that episode as well, but I wanna go practical and tactical here. How did I overcome it?
Mar, you talked about where you said that your partners that you experienced, the men in your life, you felt something from them when they were addicted to pornography.
Before I go into my share, I would love for you to tee me up because I'm just gonna be straight up with you, mystery listener, sweet mystery listener, that it was actually Carrie Michelle and plant medicine that became a catalyst in my life to let go of pornography.
And I say let go, because I actually, I wanna flip the script on addiction as well. But what was that like for you, Mar, being with a man who had an addiction to pornography or just addiction to unhealthy sexual ways?
So I'm not 100% sure if it was an addiction, but there was 100% an influence of pornography because it's so normalized, almost everybody watches it. And so I feel like it creates unrealistic expectations on how women should, and this is probably the keyword: perform when it comes to sex.
And then it's like, what it creates, it doesn't create a connection, it creates really a performance. And you're in your head and you're not really in that flow state. You're just like, okay, what should I do next? And like, how does this look? And it's not enjoyable anymore. It's really a performance and nothing else.
So what do you mean performance, like he would ask you to do certain things he had seen in porn? That's one thing or just like knowing that it's like, same thing as Sathiya was talking about, it's desensitizing the brain and so what's normal is not enough anymore. And you can tell when somebody's enjoying it, especially women are really sensitive to that.
Okay, well, I thank you for that because I knew for a long time. So I'll answer the question, how did I overcome it? But it was really important, Mar, that you shared your experience.
I overcame it by coming to the truth, coming to terms with the pain that I was then going to cause others.
And that's the thing about addiction is alcohol, food, smoking, these are all things that you eventually start on the outside, right?
But sex addiction and pornography addiction is very sly. It is very coy because not everybody sees it. Maybe your intimate partner can see it. Maybe your intimate partner can feel it. But we're walking around probably an ocean of porn addicts and sex addicts.
And we just don't know it because it's not something you wear on the outside. And I hope I'm being clear enough about this. What you do in the dark, what shame, what malice, what addictions that you do in the dark, they typically can be seen or felt on the outside.
But sex and pornography are not the case. They can't always be seen. And so for many years, I mean, I found magazines on my dad's table, Playboys and like Hustlers when I was really young, I mean, 10, 13 years old.
And then that transformed into going to like the adult store and going to the booths in the back and masturbating to the screens.
And then that transformed into VHS, back in the day if y'all know what VHS is. And then that transformed into internet streaming. And once internet streaming came out, it was game over. There was no stopping.
And so what pornography was for me, and we talk about this at joshdren.com slash 640. It is a deep, deep journey into the self. Pornography is a deep journey into the self as to why 1 would need pornography in the first place.
Why, how I overcame it was understanding why I thought I needed it. And why I thought I needed it is because ever since I was very young, I never knew what it was like to have peace, to have a nervous system that made me feel like I was at home.
And flash forward 5 years, 10 years, you know, I found pornography and it gave me that temporary kind of pseudo peace where I would have peace for a moment, but it wasn't really about the orgasm.
It wasn't about the masturbation. It wasn't about watching the screen. It was about that seeking, that craving for peace.
And that was also how unconscious sex with women played out as well, because really when I thought I was wanting was attention from women, but I was actually just using women to get my own peace, instead of doing the real work to have peace within my own heart, within my own self.
And so how I overcame it was honestly too much to even share here on this AMA, but I'll tell you the highlights…
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Links From Today's Show
- 640 Sathiya Sam | Desexualizing My Brain Transformed My Life: Resolve The Root Issues of Porn Addiction
- LiberatedLife.me
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