“Rules minus relationship equals rebellion. When we impose rules upon ourself without first trusting the promises we make to our body about nourishing it, it's going to end in rebellion. Easy is earned; in the beginning of any nutrition program, you'll have to pay attention to yourself just like you would if you were learning any new skill.”- Lisa Perkins, Primal Transformations
When it comes to personal health, one size does NOT fit all.
We are all unique in terms of our preferences, genetics, life experiences. Therefore, what works for one person may not work for us.
The same can be said about a relationship between a personal coach and a client. Just because one approach worked with one client doesn't mean that it will work with another client.
What does it take to a create a positive relationship between a personal coach and client? How can a personal coach connect with a client in such a way that it will change their life forever?
ACSM Certified Personal Trainer and Precision Nutrition Coach, Lisa Perkins, of Primal Transformations shares her 5 tips for changing your life around and discovering the perfect health plan for you.
The Power of Connection in The Coaching Relationship
“We can't look at quantitative biomarker data without looking at the emotional components.”-Lisa Perkins
During her journey to become a personal coach, Lisa discovered the power of emotional intelligence and connection with other people. She realized that there is so much more to health than food or exercise.
A good coach looks at the whole person. Nutrition, exercise, and sleep all matter but they are just part of the story.
One-size-fits-all plans don’t allow wiggle room for things like work deadlines, the stress of caring for family members, or internal struggles with self-esteem. They also don’t provide support to help clients consistently implement their plan.
Lack of customization and lack of support often prevent people from being successful. Good coaches know this. They work with clients to develop an enjoyable process that leads to long-term, sustainable results.
A person needs to set a health goal that connects their deepest values.
Lisa has witnessed the struggle of many clients dealing with a story of yo-yo dieting, restrictive eating, and plan hopping. They weren't told how important it is to lock in your “big why.”
According to Lisa, you have to determine how you want to FEEL when you achieve your goal. If you’re trying to conform to how you think society wants you to look, that’s not a positive motivator.
Instead, ask yourself, ‘How do I want to show up in the world?’
Capable of doing whatever I want to do?
These are the powerful emotions that will help us keep our eyes focused on our unique goal.
Finding the Perfect Coach for You
Find a coach who you can connect with and is willing to collaborate on a customized plan.
Take the time to interview several coaches. This is a personal relationship and it’s vital that you feel comfortable opening up with them.
Don’t settle for the first coach you talk to or the least expensive coach.
Remember: You are worth the journey to reclaim your health and mojo. Take the time to find a good coach and see for yourself how big an impact this has on your health, fitness, and life.
Your Approach Predicts Your Progress
“When we're constantly judging ourselves, nothing will happen. When we talk with other people that we trust, we can see things in a new light. We're all struggling with the same things, but we're not talking about them.” – Lisa Perkins
The diet industry only focuses on short term result plans, but these often end in us reverting back to old habits. If we're going to do the work, we want the results that we get to keep!
This requires us to slow down a bit, figure out our key roadblocks, and do the work to get out of our own way.
This doesn't seem very sexy until you discover how amazing life can be without the diet/shame roller coaster.
Just like Goldilocks, you need a plan that is ‘just right' for you.
If what you're currently doing isn't working for you, it's not a moral failure. It simply isn't the approach that works for you! This doesn't mean you start judging yourself.
Instead, you need to get curious! For example:
You're hungry at 10AM. Ask, ‘Did I get enough of the right food for breakfast? What could I change tomorrow?'.
You like to graze in the evening. Ask: ‘Did I eat enough protein, carbs, fiber, and healthy fat at dinner?’ OR ‘Am I craving snacks out of habit/feel disconnected from others/feel bitter about going to a job I detest tomorrow?’
You simply can’t make yourself go to the gym. Ask: ‘Where can I find a bodyweight exercise routine that I can do at home that makes me feel good and doesn’t make me feel punished?’. (Hint: YouTube is full of them!)
These are examples of how getting curious, as opposed to judging yourself for ‘failing’ on someone else’s plan, allows you to customize a nutrition and fitness plan fits your preferences, goals, and lifestyle.
Become the Expert on You vs Following Gurus
We have the power to take our health into our own hands but, sadly, we often forget this.
Lisa often reminds her clients that they were in the driver’s seat of their own life the entire time, they were simply napping at the wheel!
Life is short. We mustn’t settle. If your ‘normal’ is tired, unexcited, and feeling frumpy, it’s time to wake up. We all deserve better than this. The great news? It’s not that hard to get it!
We tend to over-complicate this ‘getting healthy’ business.
It’s pretty simple: What could you do in the next hour that would make you feel more vibrant?
Could you go for a walk instead of eating that free (not!) break room doughnut? Could you call a friend instead of going on social media?
These small actions don’t seem like much but when you put them together, you’ve got a beautiful thing called momentum.
Lisa recommends 3 steps to begin your own health journey:
- 1) Eat real food most of the time
- Paleo is a simple approach and a good baseline to just start eating simple, nutrient dense food.
- 2)Become aware of your body's signals
- Ask yourself, “Am I physically hungry?”
- When you're aware of your body's signals, you develop self awareness.
- 3) Prepared with healthy food
- Taking the time to have healthy food prepared and ready to go is key. We want to make the healthiest option the most convenient option.
- High quality protein (organic, pastured, grass fed, wild caught), a wide variety of organic veggies, and a moderate amount of healthy fat (olive oil, coconut oil, grass fed butter, avocado) is key to good energy, feeling satisfied, and developing a fit physique.
There IS NO wagon
According to Lisa, the wagon mentality was invented by the diet industry to make us feel like we can't figure things out for ourselves. Unfortunately, this approach is toxic for our self-esteem. It prevents us from building trust with our own hunger/fullness signales and it makes us feel out of control.
A better approach is to determine what represents an improvement for you at each meal. Start there. Learn to get on the same team with your body. You wouldn’t feed your kids a sleeve of cookies for dinner because that wouldn’t be taking good care of them. Give yourself the same grace. You deserve to take impeccable care of yourself.
Ditch the wagon and adopt the ‘I take impeccable care of myself’ approach. Not only is this more enjoyable, the result is a body and life you love.
Secret Sauce…Start Living Now!
How do you think your life will be different when you’ve lost weight or improved your health? What activities, career moves, or social engagements are you putting off?
Start doing these things now.
Why? Lisa gives two reasons:
1) You are more than worthy right now to show up, say yes to friends, take the trip, wear the bikini, go for the promotion, or whatever else you’re putting off until you’ve lost (insert number) pounds. Does anyone care what J.K. Rowling or Angela Merkel weighs? It’s ridiculous when you stop and think about it. Start living now.
2) You’re much more likely to achieve your health and fitness goals if you’re excited about something else in your life. Too often, we use food as entertainment or as a way to fill the void. Let’s fill the void with what we’re actually craving which is very often a sense of purpose, joy, and meaningful social connection.
About Lisa Perkins
Lisa Perkins is a former librarian from Alaska turned ACSM Certified Personal Trainer and Precision Nutrition Coach. After years of living with chronic illness, she figured out the secret sauce for living a fit, vibrant life. Today, she spends her time gently coaching women (and the occasional man!) along their own transformation journeys.
Resources From The Show
- Connect with Lisa Perkins on Primal Transformations
- Like Primal Transformations on Facebook
- Josh's blog posts on WellnessFX:
- Check out Tony Robbins
- The Currency of Wellness with Ryan Yokome
- The 5 Metabolic Myths with Dr. Jade Teta
- Self Love, Juicing, and Transformation with Drew Canole
- Primal Kitchen Protein Bars
- Jackson's Honest Chips
What You'll Hear On The Show
- 1:50 Josh discusses today's show topics
- 3:30 Introduction to Lisa
- 5:20 How did you decide to become a personal coach?
- 12:30 What do you find when it comes to quantitative and qualitative coaching
- 16:00 Lisa's Tips-The Power of Connection in The Coaching Relationship
- 18:30 How do we transition from the scarcity and attention to the trust and allowing?
- 20:00 What was a turning point for you to embrace emotional intelligence and to share it with your clients?
- 22:00 Your Approach Predicts Your Progress
- 24:00 The Curiosity and the Patience vs The Shame Cave
- 27:30 Become the expert on you vs following gurus
- 35:00 Has there been a part of your life where you or someone you know overcame an obstacle and were proud of yourself or them?
- 38:30 There IS NO wagon
- 40:40 Secret Sauce…Start LIVING Now!
- 43:40 Connect, Purpose, and Trust
- 44:44 7 for 7 round with Lisa and Josh
- 45:30 How do you practice gratitude when you're busy?
- 48:30 Lisa's definition of wellness
- 1:12:10 Takeaways from today's show
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You read all the way to the bottom? That's what I call love! I do the same thing for the people, things, and movements I care about as well.
PS: Looks like you and I share the same passion. I'm grateful for you and want to extend you my email address.
Write to me and let me know what you'd like to have to get more wellness in your life!
About The Author, Lauren Bryant, Podcast Production
Lauren Bryant is the Podcasting Assistant and Show Notes Writer for Wellness Force Radio. She has a BBA in both Marketing and Spanish for Business as well as certificates in Advanced Business Communications and International Business from the University of Wisconsin- Eau Claire.
Lauren’s wellness journey began at a young age when she joined her local YMCA swim team, The Wave, of La Crosse, WI. One of the most profound views on wellness that anyone has said to her was when she was an assistant swim coach for that same YMCA swim team.
One day during a practice, former head swim coach, Jon Brenner, shared with her that the most important thing about coaching the swimmers was that “It doesn’t matter if they become the best athletes in the world. What’s important is that we give them the tools and guidance they need to live a healthy, active lifestyle for the rest of their lives.”
Since hearing those words, she has taken it to heart to not only focus on continuously living her own healthy lifestyle, but to help others pursue their wellness goals as well.
Lauren is not only an avid swimmer, but a fan of running, yoga, cooking, and doing any activity outside that involves being surrounded by nature. In the Fall of 2014, she completed a long-awaited goal of walking the Camino de Santiago in Spain.
According to Lauren, wellness is about finding gratitude and joy in doing any type of physical or self-care activity that we love. Wellness means providing ourselves with self-love, good nutrition, and the inner peace that our individual minds and bodies need.